17

     So today is my birthday. I am seventeen. This means that seventeen years ago, I got my first glimpse of the world. And what did I do? I cried. But we all do. I believe that as newborn infants, we can sense the inevitability of life. We can sense hard work and fun times, memories and histories, love and sorrow. Seventeen years of living has taught me a lot of things, has giving me time to make a alot of memories, and has giving me a lot to think about. So here we go. A special birthday post, filled with the thoughts that pop into my head as the letters pop up onscreen.

1. It will.

2. No matter how much I try to deny it to myself, my feet are freezing! No amount of blankets are helping right now either. Neither are socks, slippers, or feet-resistant flames.

3. The procrastinating needs to stop. I can procrastinate myself into the corner, very easily I might add, and it is doing nothing to help anything. It is actually making things worse. All things.

4. I read at a faster rate than I can buy books. This may not sound bad to some people, but to me it can feel like he end of the world sometimes.

5. What is at the end of the world? I know most people want to know how it ends, or when it ends, but I'd like to know what's there. Are we there? Is proof of ou existence there? And if we are there, are we the same, or have we changed? There is too much uncertainty in that kind of future to worry about, I know, but I still wonder. 

6. Does anyone really know what all the keys on the keyboard do? I mean really, mine has all of these weird symbols on it. And what if you press multiple keys at one time? Like <Ctrl><Alt><Del>. If I press a certain sequence, will my computer become a robot or something? I mean really, they could be death machines and we would never know.

7. I poured myself a drink to come down here are write this post, but I haven't taken a single sip. Now the glass looks all neglected, and I feel obligated to drink it, but I'm just not thirsty anymore.

8. Who goes out one day and says "I'm going to create a math theory"? Has anyone but me noticed how many equations and problems there are in the math world? Who comes up with this stuff? Sure, one day I'm just going to stay home and create a problem that no one else can solve, then make up a way to get an answer, and consider it a theory. Who cares how long it will take Train A and Train B to get to the same spot on the track? Just stop them before you kill a bunch of inicent people. Gosh. (That was a rant against the horrible math test I had to write today. Grr!)

9. Then again, I also feel this way about weekends.

10. I really hate it when people make a list, pretend to forget a number, and make the next thought something like "I bet you didn't realize there was no number whatever." It's not that hard to count, or go back and change the numbering. Also, not a lot of people look at the numbering. They look at the words after the numbers. That's where all the information is written.

11. This is the first time I've done a list like this. I think I may do more in the future. Except I will plan better in the future, since I am running out of time and things to say.

12. Everytime I'm bored or don't know what to do when I'm online, I look up to the top bar of the screen where I have some of my favourite sites listed for easy access, and I wonder if I will find something to do or say. I never do, in case you were wondering. Mostly I just think that a lot of them aren't favourites anymore, and I haven't visited some in the longest time.

13. Book boys = <3  

14. This thought will self destruct in three ... two ... one ... *poof*.

15. Not enough thoughts, not enough time. Ahh!

16. I was sixteen yesterday.

17. I will be seventeen for 364 days. That's a lot of days.

Just Don't Freak Out

     This week has been the most boring week of the year. Nothing particularly interesting happened, and I haven't done anything worth talking about. I've mostly been thinking, and even that has been pretty dull. The only real news to report is that I finished two books this week and started another. This means I am back on track with the 50 Book Challenge, and may possibly get ahead of my schedule by the end on the month. The way I thought about it, I would need to read one book per week, and have a two week period in case more time was needed for certain books. Kind of like the 50QC.

     I finished Mockingjay late Monday night, so I couldn't post like I wanted to. The ending was, of course, the best part of the book. I cried my eyes out reading it, and had to get up a couple of times to blow my nose. Just like the second book, I never could have predicted what had happened. This trilogy has become one of my favourites. Not only did the characters feel real and complete, but the story seemed to resonate with a sound of truth, like this is what our future holds. The plot is undeniably possible. I just hope for the sake of the human race we can pull ourselves together and not come to something like this. All in all, I would rate this book a 9.5 out of 10.

     The reason I didn't post on Tuesday or Wednesday was because I had begun reading yet another book. Dash and Lily's Book of Dares by Rachel Cohn and David Levithan. As strange as the title may sound, the book was absolutely amazing. It was the perfect mix of romance and mystery that I needed. The story is about a girl, Lily, who left a notebook in a bookstore in New York, with a dare in it for whomever found it. Dash finds it, and instead of just following the final instruction, leaves a dare back for Lily. They continue on like this, writing back and forth in the notebook, getting close to one another without really getting close. Then add in a nightclub at 2am, an enormous dog, and an unforgettable New Year's eve. This book had me hooked from the first page to the last.

      That's all I really feel like writing at the moment. I promise another post early in the week, a very special post. But that's all I'm going to say about that. So have a good weekend, DFTBA, and...

Lost Blogger

     Over the last two weeks I feel as though I have lost myself as a blogger. I haven't updated at all, I haven't put any thought into a single post, and yet I've had time to do so every day. To make up for it, I'm going to try to jam pack this post with as much as I can possibly write, until I lay, broken and empty, asleep in my bed. That sounds really nice right now, but I will resist the distraction. I will!

 

     I've completed two books, and am almost done a third, since the last word from me. Closer by Roderick Gordan and Brian Williams. It the the fourth book in the Tunnels saga. It just keeps getting better and better with every book, although I'm getting really impatient for a definitive ending. I've loved every minute of the books, but now to wait for a fifth? Anyway, there was some death, some reunions, and some very interesting events, including blowing up a laboratory, being locked in a closet for weeks, and gaining a 'sixth sense' of sorts. Now to away for Spiral, which will hopefully hold an ending!

     Catching Fire is the second book in the Hunger Games series. I'm just finishing up the last book today, so maybe there will a post about it tomorrow. I read Catching Fire really quickly, it was just so good and so twisting. Out of all the possibilities that I expected for the second book, what happened was miles out the range. Things seemed to be going along well and then BAM! a huge plot twist. That's what I liked most about this book: the complete unknown for the future. After this turning point, it was like an anything goes attack against the reader. Truly magnificent. But what else would you expect after the awesome that was The Hunger Games? The only thing I can say about this book is this: Tick-Tock.

     I am going to do a double here and answer two questions to make up the quiet that had seemed to settle here lately. First, "to what degree have you actually controlled the course your life has taken?" Well, if control in my life was placed in a scale of one to ten, one being none and ten being complete, then I would say about a six. I can't control that I have to go to school, or that I have to sleep at night and be home by a certain hour. But I can control what kind of classes I take, the path I hope my future to follow, and how I present myself. So, while I don't have a lot of control, I have what I need. For now. As I learn and grow, my control over my life will increase. It will never be at a ten, or even a nine. Life just doesn't work like that. But it will also never be zero or one. As human beings, be always have control over ourselves. Maybe not in the way that everyone thinks or would like, but in the way that matters.

     The second question is "are you more worried about doing things right, or doing the right things?" I think I'm going to have to be a fence sitter here. Mostly because the question confuses me, but also because I'm human and my choice changes all the time. I like to do things right; if you don't do it right the first time, you have to do it again, and I don't like doing things twice. I also try to do the right things, because in the long run it will make me a better person. "The right thing and the easy thing are never the same thing." As difficult as it may be at times, I try. I try to do both, and sometimes it moves me forward, sometimes backwards, and sometimes I find myself exactly where I started. But I'm alright with that.

     Now I will go and finish Mockingjay so that I can write again tomorrow. I must admit though, I don't feel so broken and empty right now. I think a lot of this post has come into a roundabout and completed itself somehow. I'm not even going to try to understand it right now though. So try and DFTBA everyone.

P.S - I found this really funny webcomic the other day. Link. What are you waiting for, go look! LINK!

Still Here

     I realize that I haven't really posted anything in over a week. I kind of felt like just giving up lately. Every time I thought that I should write something, a little voice in the back of my mind kept saying "Why bother? No one cares what you write." I've been agreeing with that voice lately, and am still fighting to keep it gagged and tied up in the dark recesses of my mind. So right now I figure I will continue on in the normal routine.
     Clearly I have used up one of my two safe weeks for the 50QC. I was hoping to never have to skip a week, and answer all of the questions with two weeks remaining in the year to reflect and whatnot. Oh well. The question for this week is actually pretty interesting. "If the average human lifespan was 40 years, how would you live your life differently?"

     If the average lifespan was 40 years, the first thing that I would do differently is not spend as much time in school. Currently I am expecting to be in school until I'm around 22 years old, which would be half of my life. Then I would have to work the rest to pay off the debt of school, and I would have no time to really live. So I would spend less time in school and more time doing things for myself, like traveling and meeting people and having different experiences. If I were only expected to live to around 40, I would forget about trying to save for a future as much as people now do and focus on being with my friends and family. I most certainly would not be wasting a Saturday evening typing at my computer like this. Just kidding. It's not a waste.

     Last week I finished two books: The Hunger Games and Beastly. I borrowed both of them from K, but I intend to buy The Hunger Games trilogy next time I'm in a bookstore. She only had the first one, and it completely hooked me. Basically, it's about a girl who is sent along with 23 other teenagers to battle it out in the annual Hunger Games, in which the contestants have to kill each other to survive; the last one standing gets to live. It was really amazing. Beastly is pretty much a modern day take on the classic Beauty and the Beast story. It was also really good, much better than I expected it to be. This has now been eight books toward the 50 book challenge. I'm a little behind from where I would have liked to be by this time, but that's alright because I will make it up in the summer.  

     So there, I've actually posted for this week. Hopefully this following week I won't be in this mood again and I'll actually write. Have a good week, keep your hopes up, and DFTBA.

    

Anyone Else?

How I feel right about now.